Everyday I struggle to get out of bed. I regularly get up at 1 - 2 in the afternoon. I wake up angry at the world. I have violent thoughts. I complain a lot. I have a hatred for the way society works. Girls frustrate me as I have little patience for them. I like to be left alone most of the time. I've thought of suicide many times because I feel life is a drag.

WHY ARE WE ALL SLAVES!WHAT IS THE PROBLEM IN YOUR LETTING IT OUT! COME OUT OF YOUR SHELLS. PEOPLE ARE THERE TO CON YOU. i AM HAPPY I AM NOT INTO THAT.I LOVE MY PARENTS.PRESSURE IS VERY STRONG. I LOVE MYSELF. love IS ALL AROUND US. i NEED SOME PARTNER.I CANT LIVE IN CELIBACY ANYMORE.I AM LIVING IN THE MOMENT. TRYING NOT TO WASTE TIME. The past makes me depressed. I am loosing control of my soul. i am not trying hard enough in life.I need to start living my life.My awareness level is low. I am finding it hard to focus. am suffering from schizophrenia.

Let me start by saying;

Unless you are trained in some form of self defense or martial arts; I am fairly capable of dispatching you. I try to be considerate of others - in fact I often contemplate that I am overly considerate. I'm tired of stepping out of the way of two gay blacks or two lesbian lovers as a sign of 'acceptance'. Frankly; I think what they are doing is weird and unacceptable. Lately, I think to myself - who gives a damn what they think? I am a white male. Accept this shit,

I've been talking with a psychologist concerning memories I have of abuse. I may or may not suffered, unable to find out if it was real or if I had lost my mind.
Neither of us can tell either way but the memories still bother me, especially when I hear rumors someone may have done something malign to another girl. So I've been looking for proof to determine if it's true by trying to look up some old friends from whom, I remember, may have some knowledge of what happened.

For months and months and months, now she has become increasingly forgetful. Not only that, but her motivation in life doesn't consist of much more than going to work and then coming home and slacking off on the computer. She doesn't do things she is supposed to do. Then she says she forgot to do them, or she didn't remember to. Constantly, this is her only excuse or explanation.

This isn't normal for a 22 year old female! is it? Memory problems like this can't possibly be normal.

Today I've woked up into a nightmare. At work, I can occasionally take short 15-20 minute sleeping breaks if people don't come in, no-one bothering me. Before the break, the entire day seemed to work pretty well, aside from a work-mate of mine that decided it's a good idea to dramatically leave the room since the air-conditioner wasn't to her liking, and I refused lifting the temperature to Insanely-high-C'.

I SAW HER TODAY SHE WAS LIKE GREETING THAT GUY WITH SUCH A TENDER SWEET VOICE LIKE 'HELLOOOOOOOOO' JUST TO MAKE MY BLOOD BOIL. YOU KNOW SHE WAS SAYING THAT EXCTLY WHEN PASSING ME BY SO I CAN HEAR IT SO GOD DAMN WELL. RAMPAGE IS WHAT I SAY!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAA THEY ALL HATE ME? WHY? IM SUCH A NICE GUY. AND DONT WANNA BE A LOSER. I AM NOT A LOSER. SO DONT AVOID ME LIKE IM TRASH YOU PUNKS. ALL OF YOU. IM GETTING SICK OF YOU ALL. AND I DONT CARE. DIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Dammit! i'm hating everyone at the moment...
there is nothing that has gone in my favor today
the forked up gala at park had a quarrel, and took his shirt to fight wid me, i didnt start punching his bullied freaking face, and now i regret that why didnt i do it!
then I had a disagrreement with atleast 4-5 friends... and then Family too because of this stupid mobile who is almost useless and always make me angry when i use it to text anyone.. Why the hell is everything not going in my favor..

My husband is really quite sexist sometimes and his crack today about my job being to cook him dinner was the last straw. I'd had it with him so I stormed into the kitchen and settled on casserole... a la dog food! Funnily enough he said it was the best casserole he ever tasted. If only he knew!

I'd been on my shift as a staff nurse at the local hospital for 10 hours and couldn't wait to go home. Before I did, I had to go turn out the ward lights. I hit the switch and went to walk through the double doors when they swung back at me. "Oh sorry! I didn't see you in the dark!" I laughed. My colleague was African American