There is this girl, i hardly even know and she constantly says awful things behind my back like about my hair and everything i have never talked to her and she just hates me for some stupid unknown reason!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate the freakin Phillies. they are a shitty team and they need to be stopped. they shouldn't be in the world series. and the Yankees should blow them away. i am a redsox fan but now live in PA near Philadelphia and phillies fans sucks

If FDA's (Facebook Display of Affection, google it) are not enough to make Facebook a hellish place, there are the continuous spamming and annoying requests for "which is your best friend?" "what would anyone think of you?, and a long etcetra..
I know Facebook has great options of privacy, but still you can't avoid finding "269 notifications" with 99% of them like "someone has sent you X in X application" or "get your daily X at X now!"...

Dear Life,

Tell me what do I do with you. damn with you!!!

Rgds.

Today I went for a drive and wound up getting into a car wreck. An ambulance made an emergency stop in front of me but my brakes failed. I must have lost consciousness for a few seconds because I'd crashed and all I could see when I came round was the ambulance's bumper sticker: "If you can read this then you're too close"!

We took our 4 year old daughter with us to the new Chinese restaurant, and figured we would order the "Pu Pu" platter for two and share some with her. When the waitress came and we ordered, our daughter cried out loud "nooooooo" with tears and all. She thought we were ordering "poopoo!"

My daughter had been begging me to take her to Disneyland for some time and I always made the excuse that it would be cheaper to own a dog because we couldn't afford it. This year we can go to Disneyland so I waited for her to ask... but she didn't so eventually I mentioned it. Her eyes lit up and she started to smile: "So does that mean I can have a dog?"

Last night, my wife and I woke up with a start as the house shook a little. Used to the odd tremor, we thought nothing more of it and went back to sleep. However, when I headed out to the car to go to work I realized it wasn't an earthquake at all. The fact our car was sticking out of the living room was the first clue and the fact that its hand break had apparently been left off all night was the second. - Dammit!

My husband's been having a rough time at work. He's been working long hours in his new job and losing business clients left, right and centre regardless. He's been trying so hard to get back on track but it's a little difficult when you're a salesman for a hair growth product and you're completely bald!

My husband is a successful attorney but his brilliant brain doesn't have a common sense section. After losing his third set of keys, we had to change the car and the all the house locks so neither were broken into. To safeguard us against his losing habit in the future, he had two sets of keys cut ... and put his name and address on both